#AMAB Woman

[redacted-coiner]

Feman, Female Woman, Womale

AMAB Woman, Intersex, AFAB Man

Female Man, Male Man, Male Woman

DNI is listed within my pinned post. Please go read it before interacting with any part of my content. Ask to tag!

@genderstarbucks (sorry it was delayed)

[uncanny-tranny]

I don't care if somebody was "born a man" or "born a woman"

We were fucking born as babies, I frankly don't care what you were "born to be," so long as you are happy in the here and now. That's what matters more, not this bioessentialist "you're born this way, and nothing you do or say matters more than how you were born"

[afabtransfemserver]

AFAB Transfems : Want a community?

Hello reader! If you're interested, you probably are or think you might be transfeminine. The issue for you is that either you were assigned female at birth or were assigned a gender that makes you feel it would be odd for you to call yourself transfeminine.

You've probably felt imposing or unwelcome in transfeminine spaces, maybe you even feel isolated.

Well no longer! For the first time ever, we have a space to gather! The largest AFAB Transfem space ever created, our Discord server. Even if you're on the fence, take a peek and see if you resonate with us, you might just meet others like you for the first time! And you don't even have to be sure about it!

This is not an education server. For safety of our members, only the people described will be permitted to join. We are not here to convince you “why AFAB Transfems are valid”, we hear enough discourse about our existence. We deserve a space to exist within our genders and to relate to others like us free from outside influence. If you personally don't agree with the concept of AFAB transfeminine people, you can ignore this post in its entirety. As important as allies can be to trans communities, we specifically are controversial to the point that allowing outsiders can quickly become hazardous. Even those who state their support will not be allowed unless they consider themselves a potential member of the community. Please do not join to try to learn about us.

We hope to see you there! https://discord.gg/4AJCNQ6gzF

[raccoon-queer]

y'know what? I'm gonna say it

asking if someone is afab or amab is transphobic

the only people who need to know what gender you were assigned at birth are medical professionals and potentially sexual partners. otherwise, there is literally no reason anyone needs to know your agab

"but I have trauma with amab people" "but afab people are annoying" that sounds like a you problem and does not justify asking people what's in their pants. because that is what you are doing – just with politically correct terminology

you cannot call yourself a trans ally and then ask to know what's in someone's pants. end of story

(also? some people aren't afab or amab. neither sex nor gender are binary)

[genderqueerdykes]

I feel like, as a genderfluid trans woman, that my transmasculinity serves as a powerful fuck you to trans women and other queers that hate trans men. I am a transmasculine person. I have been told off and hated for this fact so much that i was pushed so deep into the static gender closet for so many years. The people who get mad at me for “fetishizing trans men” or some bullshit like that are far too often trans women. I have had people use “protecting trans men” as an excuse to yell at me for saying I want to bind as a way to maybe be perceived as a transmasculine person more easily. They yelled at me that “not all trans men bind”. They made me feel ashamed of being the fucking person that I am. They wanted to draw thick firm lines between transmasculine and transfeminine, and I said fuck your binary. I called them out for just recreating the binary. For saying amab people can never be transmasculine.

All this has done is make me get bolder and louder about the fact I am transmasculine and transfeminine and trans whatever the fuck i want. I will not have my identity defined by my genitals. I am unashamed that i am transmasculine. I am loud about it. Death before enforced static gender ✊

thank you so much for taking the time to share your story, i really appreciate it!

i've been trying to point this out for months, only to be called a transmisogynist. there genuinely, really, truly are trans women who are also men out there and we need to be treated better. i'm also a trans woman & a trans man as well, there's nothing wrong with that. your AGAB shouldn't matter- if you feel like a trans man, you are a trans man. no matter what. i don't need to know what gender or genitals you were born with. you are a trans man. you are NOT fetishizing trans men at all. so many people DO this, but you being a trans man is not fetishizing us at all.

and that DOES NOT invalidate your trans womanhood, either! they don't cancel each other out! that doesn't give anyone the excuse to refuse to see you as a trans woman as well! that doesn't diminish your experience, nor does it step on the toes of trans men of different AGABs! you are doing absolutely nothing wrong and people still just reduce you to your genitals. that's not anyone else's business at all. how is this trans community if we're reducing each other to our genitals- that's the EXACT OPPOSITE of what we do here!

They wanted to draw thick firm lines between transmasculine and transfeminine, and I said fuck your binary. I called them out for just recreating the binary. For saying amab people can never be transmasculine.

beautifully said. people are constantly obsessed with recreating the binary and it's time we stopped.

i'm very glad you took the time to share your story. people need to understand that AMAB trans people also have an extremely complex relationship with gender, and that can include being men, and yes, that includes trans men. genderfluidity is complex. it's not just "binary cis man, binary cis woman, other". it can be whatever that individual is experiencing. it's unique for everyone. i hope you continue to have the energy to stay loud and proud. you deserve to be. nobody has the right to tell you who you are, or that you're somehow hurting other people. you're not. they're hurting you. stay safe out there. you are loved

[amurder-ofcrows]

i’m stealth in college so no one besides the accessibility office knows i’m a trans man, like the beard and buzzcut and voice and the other ways my body has been changed by 5 years on T and top surgery make people just think that i’m a “cis” man, and i’m friends with these two girls in my quantitative reasoning class and i complimented one of their outfits and made a joke about how i would probably wear it if i didn’t wanna deal with people’s bullshit and she goes “oh you know it’s okay for guys to explore their gender? you don’t have to fit into a mold society put you in based on being born male” and i’m like thanks for the sentiment and i do need to remember this as a trans man who is still exploring his fashion sense, but trust me when i say I KNOW so like ill just be over here internally screaming (but hey at least i know she’s cool about it if i did come out)

[justinhubbell]

Too Trans for Hogwarts

What's that? you wanted it on a low quality shirt (or sticker?)

[velvetvexations]

Thinking about it, I really need someone to explain to me why AMAB non-binary people aren't considered to be victims of misdirected transmisogyny that affects them merely because they were misidentified as a trans woman. Can someone do that for me? Anyone? Is there a transradfem who doesn't have me blocked or who I haven't blocked for harassment that can illuminate me on that point?

[nonconformityhub]

AGAB Non-Conformity - AFAB Transfems, AMAB Cis Women, Neo-AGABs, and more (Infographic)

Icon Credits: ANC flag and term by sanrio-kotto - coining here AFAB Transfem and AMAB Transmasc hearts by @ijustwannamekemojis Intersex emoji by @eldritch-emojis Trans emoji by @k9emote

[caintooth]

From a transmasc who loves transfems more than I hate transmisogyny: If you are AFAB you should not be calling yourself transfem, a transwoman, or a transgirl.

Let me start this by saying that I agree, obviously, that our society needs to stop caring about AGAB. Ideally, we should not be assigned AFAB or AMAB to begin with, and we should all be able to use the language we feel suits us best. If you are both trans and a woman, it does seem like it makes sense to call yourself a transwoman, doesn’t it? Even if you were AFAB?

But let’s have nuance, please. Let’s start by acknowledging this: a world in which our AGABs have no impact on our social roles / perceptions / interactions is NOT a world we live in yet. No matter how badly we may want to simply be feminine and masculine and androgynous and outside of connection to a binary system and AGABs entirely, we have NOT achieved that sort of liberation. To pretend we have- to act as if your AGAB has no impact on the way you are perceived and treated- is an extremely privileged game of imagination.

The most common argument I have seen from AFABs using transfem / transwoman language for themselves is that they are someone who is both, by all definitions, transgender and a woman. This may be because they previously transitioned into manhood or transmasculinity, and did not identify as a woman or as feminine at all during that time, but now, for whatever reason, have started identifying as a woman / feminine again. Or they may be a person who identifies with any variation of non-binary woman, bigender, genderfluid, genderqueer, demigirl, etc. Any identity which is either “I used to not be a woman, but am a woman now,” or “I am a woman, and another gender or lack thereof, too.”

I understand. In whatever version of this scenario, they are both transgender or have transitioned at some point, and are currently feminine or a woman. It does really sound like transfem or transwoman should be the correct language to use in this scenario!

I am non-binary, transmasc, and was indeed AFAB. I get it. I am transgender. I am not a woman, but I am also, sometimes, a woman. I am transgender and I am a woman. And I spent years of my life fighting against femininity, only to find that finally being allowed to be openly masculine has helped me embrace femininity again. It seems this is not an uncommon experience. But I am not now, and never will be, a transwoman.

Because the word transwoman has very, very specific meaning. “Meanings can change,” and “words have more than one meaning,” you say? Yes, that is true! And it should be! Change and embracing of nuance is so important to our community. And nobody should be policing the language anybody else uses.

But that being said, please. Embrace this nuance, if you are so passionate about words having it. People who were AMAB and are women have extremely different experiences than people who were AFAB and are still / are again, in whatever form for whatever reason, women or feminine.

Being a woman who was AMAB has unique culture, intersectionality, and vulnerability. Countless transwomen have asked people who were AFAB not to use the language of actual transfemininity, because it is such a different experience than being trans and feminine separately. Let me make this clear.

People who were AFAB are expected to be and rewarded for being women. If we perform womanhood in an unpalatable way, yes, we do experience misogyny. If we are also transgender, yes, we do experience transphobia. But neither of these things, even when experienced at the same time, are the same as transmisogyny, which can only be experienced by people who were AMAB.

This is because of the patriarchy. Gender Issues 101. Manhood and masculinity are seen as the ultimate power. Womanhood and femininity, as less. So, yeah, I get your confusion here. People who were AFAB, especially if they are also trans or are women or feminine in the “wrong” way, will indeed always be seen as lesser than men, for the fact of being AFAB alone! Absolutely nobody is saying that misogyny and transphobia against AFAB people are not massively violent forces in this world. Nobody is saying people who were AFAB have it “easy!”

But again, again again- people who were AMAB and are women experience a form of violence and hate very different from the kind we as AFAB people do. You know as well as I do that the patriarchy does not view women who were AMAB as actual women. It instead views them as failed men. And to those indoctrinated, that is a crime worse than womanhood. It is the ultimate insult: “They are not women. They are clearly not men, either. They are third. Other.”

AFAB people who are trans or perceived as “failed women,” no matter our actual or internal connection with femininity or womanhood, are viewed by society negatively, yes, but not as third or Other. Because, despite the wording, “failed women” are still actually viewed as women. This is because the patriarchy views people who were AFAB as inherently flawed by mere circumstance of birth. We are inherently capable of failure, because we have already failed by not being born cis men… And cis men, on the other hand, are viewed as ideal, perfect, god-like, and thus not capable of failure at all.

Let me reiterate. Due to transphobia and the rigid structure of gender within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB declare “I am a not a man,” they are denied the status of woman. But, due to misogyny and the position of men as supreme, flawless beings within the patriarchy, when people who were AMAB respond by saying “I am a woman,” they are also denied the status of man. It is this also which is so significant. They are viewed by the patriarchy as Other in a way that people who were AFAB never will be, because we will always just be viewed as women, which is at least human.

The fact that people who are AFAB will only ever be viewed as woman is a separate issue, with separate conversation around it. Because I understand, as one of them, that we may identify with a concept of thirdness and of Otherness. We, like women who were AMAB, are not men! We feel a kinship there!

But I think I have explained well why our experience of Otherness is not the same as Otherness experienced by transwomen who were AMAB. No matter how deeply we feel third, Other, different, strange, weird? Even if this is, from the depth our soul and core of our being, not how we want to be treated? Society is still willing to view us, at the very least, no matter how much we hate it, as women. Which, like I said, is at least one way to be seen as human.

Women who were AMAB, however, are only ever treated as Other. Not even as human beings. Do you see how this is different? Do you see how this is worse?

The two questions we are trying to answer in this post are, first, why is it wrong that some people who were AFAB want to call themselves trans women or trans feminine? Which leads us to, second, why would they want to in the first place?

Transwomen who were coercively assigned male at birth are, in fact, women. They are not Other. They are not third. They are human beings and the patriarchy is wrong. I know this. The wider queer community claims to know this, too.

But we must not let our desire to affirm transwomen in their womanhood cloud our eyes to the fact that the vast majority of the world still holds extremely violent and dangerous mentality towards them.

When people who were AFAB use the language of transwoman, transfem, and transgirl for themselves, they are equating their experiences to that of AMAB people. They are, in a way, fetishizing transwomanhood. They are saying, “I have seen those called transwomen also called weird, and strange, and third, and Other. I feel that way myself, sometimes. Words like ‘genderqueer’ and ‘genderfluid’ and ‘bigender’ and ‘demigirl’ and etc., though perfectly established and expressive of my gender, do not express to others the quality of inhumanity which I feel I am a victim of. They do not express my uniqueness. But transwomen are seen as inhuman, and unique in their suffering. I am going to associate my feeling of inhumanity with their word, too. I am going to make sure this association continues, so that my pain is acknowledged, too.”

It is a violent co-opting of language. It is self-victimization. It is denial of differing axises of oppression. You are allowed to hurt, to feel Other, and denied of your humanity. But what reason do you have to equate your experience of hurt with a more marginalized group’s oppression, besides selfishness? Especially when you have been asked, repeatedly, to stop.

This behavior creates an unsafe environment for actual transwomen, who deserve community with people who acknowledge the unique experience of transfemininity! Who should be able to comfortably find other actually transfeminine people to make friends with and confide in! Who should be allowed to have their own spaces, communities, and safety nets!

Transfeminine people deserve security. Sorry for the word play, but I literally cannot imagine anything more insecure than stealing language from transwomen.

[transenbyconfessions]

so glad im a lesbian because every time i feel bad about my transfemme body i ask myself "would i find this ugly on another woman" and the answer is always no. lesbianism beats the disphoria and stomps on its skull for good measure

Submitted April 26, 2023

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

”afab nonbinary people are transmasc and amab nonbinary people are transfem!” what if I killed you with hammers

[sirenium]

If you're against perisex people using labels like AFAB transfem and AMAB transmasc, please kindly shut the fuck up. If you're against perisex people using pronoun sets such as shi/hir please kindly shut the fuck up.

I, myself, am intersex. I do not *care* if Sally sees her womanhood through a trans lens while being perisex AFAB. I am an avid believer that enforcing the notion that such labels are 'exclusive' to intersex people is harmful. 'Oh but shi/hir has been used against us!!!' That is not the fault of Billy, who just vibes with the pronoun set.

The sooner we as a community can realize that these 'progressive' boxes aren't much better than the ones made by our oppressors, the better.

[punkeropercyjackson]

You know what?I'm about to say it

Transfem Percy Jackson is closer to canon than transmasc Percy Jackson is

[oddtransfem]

It's finally here.

My thoughts on AFAB transfems.

────────────────────

An essay on assigned femininity and transgender womanhood.

[genderqueerdykes]

genuine question about some identities

why do you think theres so much hate for people who are afab/amab and are also trans women/men, those who are cistrans and multigender people?

ive noticed that when you tell certain queer people you'd think wouldn't be exclusionist that your gender is funky and you're trans bc of it, they begin to use your assigned sex and your biology against you because "you can't be a trans woman if you have a uterus, ur just feminine".

its the same argument as conservatives make it. why is there so much hate?

ppl don't acknowledge my individual genders but instead see how they work alongside each other. ppl don't see me as a trans woman when my gender is woman but will acknowledge me as a trans man because of my sex traits.

these are some very important questions to ask, i appreciate you for sending this ask

i honestly think more people are becoming indoctrinated into transmedicalist and gender critical thinking without realizing it, and it's becoming dangerous. people want to inherently label an afab transfem and/or an amab transmasc as liars, people who are spitting in the faces of others, and shouldn't be a part of our community. other people make assumptions about others' experiences based on their own and don't understand that there is an entire world outside of their perspective, and that world is full of experiences they have no hope of understanding, but can simply accept.

i've gotten a lot of questions about whether afab trans women and amab trans men can exist, it's definitely a hot button issue right now, and i agree with you. if you ask me, afab trans women and amab trans men deserve to have a platform to speak from. if someone genuinely believes their identity is trans no matter what their AGAB is- who the hell am i to stop them? it's important for afab trans women and amab trans men to not speak over their other siblings and try to speak for what it's like to be intersex or an amab trans woman/afab trans man. but that doesn't mean that these people can't exist- they deserve the right to talk about their experience, because it exists alongside the experiences of amab trans women and afab trans men. they're not fighting with each other, they're unique experiences that belong under the same umbrella.

at the end of the day, someone standing there being an afab trans woman, an amab trans man, or a cistrans person is not hurting anyone. the identity itself will hurt no one. ignorance about what other trans people experience is dangerous, and so is speaking over others, but these identities in and of themselves are not harming anyone. it is very possible to go "i don't understand how that works, but if that is how they identify, then i will respect that."

between people becoming indoctrinated into radical feminism and people who are proudly adopting gender critical politics, there is a schism in our communities that don't need to be there. people think they need to "weed out the fakes" in order for us to be accepted by cishet society, which is just not how any of this works. we can't cast aside the queers who are "too weird" or "not really queer" in order to try to make the rest of the community look legitimate

this community has always been here for people whose identities don't line up with the cisheteronormative binary. it doesn't matter what someone's AGAB is- i mean, isn't that the point of the trans community? are we not the "i don't give a shit about your AGAB, i want to know who you really are" community? it's become honestly scary to see how focused the queer community has become on AGAB. people are utterly obsessed with trying to figure out the AGABs of strangers in order to deny them access to queer spaces or kick them out of spaces they rightfully belong in

and it bothers me deeply that people police the identities of multigender people beyond belief. it's like having 1 trans identity is okay but if you dare to have more than one, you're not really queer or whatever. cistrans people, multigender people who are cis, trans wo/men who consider both their manhood and womanhood trans no matter what their AGAB is, transfemmasc/transmascfem people... these identities belong and yet people proudly and gladly wake up every day to do conservatives' jobs for them.

whenever you police another queer person's identity, no matter what your intention is, good, bad or something else- you are doing conservatives' jobs for them. you are not preserving our community. you are not keeping identities sacred or safe or whatever the hell. you're gladly sucking up to our oppressors and spreading their propaganda. it's disturbing how people don't realize this

thank you for taking the time to send this ask, i agree with you 100%. this behavior has gotten out of control and it's time for people to wake the fuck up and realize they've been indoctrinated into transmedicalism, radical feminism, and being gender critical. this isn't the "right" way to behave. it's antithetical to the very foundations of the queer community.